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New Covid Variant Spreads Through Zoom Calls
Researchers at Oxford University have made an alarming discovery that a strain of the novel coronavirus has been shown to transmit over video calls. Alarm bells started ringing earlier this week when several cases of the new variant, Covid-19.2 Snow Leopard, were traced back to a tech firm’s Monday morning catch up, a meeting which unknowingly became a superspreader event. Concerns were raised the following … Continue reading New Covid Variant Spreads Through Zoom Calls
Rishi Sunak Pledges One Scandal Each Month If Re-elected
In a last-ditch effort to retain power, Rishi Sunak has declared a final policy promising a minimum of one monthly scandal if re-elected. “It’s time to return to basics”, the beleaguered prime minister said in a sweaty statement, having elected to wear a woolly overcoat despite the heat. “In 14 years, we have changed the scandal landscape forever, plumbing new depths of sleaze, and just … Continue reading Rishi Sunak Pledges One Scandal Each Month If Re-elected
Finders Keepers Says Sunak In Elgin Marbles Row
Seemingly out of reasonable ideas for why the UK should keep sculptures removed from Greece in the 19th century, the Prime Minister has invoked the ancient law of finders keepers, much to Greek PM Kyriakos Mitsotakis’s dismay. Continue reading Finders Keepers Says Sunak In Elgin Marbles Row
Social Media Flag War Intensifies despite Israel-Hamas Ceasefire
While the sounds of bombs and gunfire have stopped, albeit momentarily, another battle rages on across the global interweb. Continue reading Social Media Flag War Intensifies despite Israel-Hamas Ceasefire
Saudi Arabia Launch World Pride 2032 Bid
Fresh off the heels of their successful 2034 World Cup bid, Saudi Arabia has launched an ambitious attempt to bring the global LGBTQ+ festival World Pride to the desert in 2032. Continue reading Saudi Arabia Launch World Pride 2032 Bid
Hasbulla Blamed for Hezbollah Missile Strikes
Confusion broke out online last night as Russian social media personality Hasbulla was blamed for a series of guided missile strikes on Israel’s northern border, resulting in the 3ft4 UFC signee receiving death threats from pro-Israeli activists. Continue reading Hasbulla Blamed for Hezbollah Missile Strikes
Suella Braverman Vows to Stop Undocumented Bed Bugs Arriving in the UK
Home Secretary Suella Braverman has issued a stark warning to bedbugs attempting to enter the country illegally. Continue reading Suella Braverman Vows to Stop Undocumented Bed Bugs Arriving in the UK
Local Pet Shop Comes Out in Support of Israel
Yesterday evening, as intense fighting raged on across Israel and Gaza, Bognor Regis-based pet store, PetZone, published a statement announcing their unreserved support for Israeli forces. At 6 pm GMT, hours after posting an Israeli flag to their Instagram stories, PetZone published a strongly-worded statement to their Facebook page while also sending it out to their loyal 42-person-strong mailing list. In a move that’s sure … Continue reading Local Pet Shop Comes Out in Support of Israel
EXCLUSIVE: The REAL Reason Why the Rwanda Flights Were Cancelled
A stunning leak from Number 10 has shed new light on the Rwanda flight debacle which unfolded earlier this week and has revealed the real reason that the Rwanda flights failed to take off. According to sources, Government plans to send refugees to Rwanda earlier were scuppered at the last minute after the contracted airline was revealed not to have any planes in its fleet. … Continue reading EXCLUSIVE: The REAL Reason Why the Rwanda Flights Were Cancelled
Boris Announces New Housing Measures, Homes to Be Measured in Yards Instead of Metres
Boris Johnson announced drastic new housing measures today with homes now set to be measured in yards instead of metres, edging Britain further away from the metric system toward the previously forbidden imperial units. ‘The public demanded new housing measures, and once again, the Conservative party has delivered,’ said Johnson. ‘Now the British public can measure their homes in whichever way they please, and won’t … Continue reading Boris Announces New Housing Measures, Homes to Be Measured in Yards Instead of Metres
96% of Bots Still Support Boris Johnson, YouGov Poll Finds
In wake of Sue Gray’s report, Boris Johnson is fighting for his political life. However, Friday brought about some much-needed good news for Britain’s embattled Prime Minister. According to a recent YouGov poll, an overwhelming majority of online bots say that they still back Boris. Asked why they’re still supporting the PM, 87% of bots questioned offered the same two verbatim responses, telling YouGov: ‘he’s … Continue reading 96% of Bots Still Support Boris Johnson, YouGov Poll Finds
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